How to Give a Toast When Asked to Say a Few Words

Asked to say a few words with no warning? This five-line impromptu toast works at weddings, birthdays, holiday dinners, retirements and memorials.

It always happens at the worst moment. Someone taps a glass, the host points at you and every head in the room turns. The people who always seem to know what to say aren't faster thinkers. They learned a shape ahead of time, so when the moment comes they only fill in the blanks.

The five-line toast template

Write these five openers on an index card and keep it in your wallet. You won't read from it. Knowing it's there is enough to settle your nerves on the drive over.

• "Good evening, everyone."
• "As we all know..."
• "We've all..."
• "I've..."
• "So let's all..."

Say them out loud a few times in the car or the shower. After a handful of runs, they stick.

What goes after each line

1. Greet the room

"Good evening," "Good afternoon" or "Happy holidays." The greeting quiets the room and buys your brain three seconds to catch up with your mouth. Say it slower than feels natural. It tells everyone you're in charge and in no hurry.

2. Name the occasion

"As we all know, we're here to celebrate..." You aren't telling anyone something new, and that's the point. One sentence brings the whole room into the same moment.

3. Find the common ground

This is where most impromptu speakers go wrong. They start talking about themselves. Instead, name something everyone in the room has lived through together: "We've all watched this team grow from five people to 50." You're not the subject. The room is.

4. Share one thing you've witnessed

This is the only line about you, and it has one rule: say only what you've seen. Not your feelings, not your year. "I've watched her talk a nervous new hire through a first day more times than I can count."

5. Give the room something to do

End with an action so nobody wonders whether you're finished. Three choices cover almost any event:

• Raise a glass
• Give a round of applause
• Bow heads for a moment of silence

When the room has something to do, the awkward pause disappears and you're done.

The template at four real events

Wedding reception

"Good evening, everyone. As we all know, we're here to celebrate Marcus and Elena. We've all watched these two go from a first date that ran three hours long to the couple everyone calls for advice. I've seen how they show up for each other, in big moments and small ones. So let's all raise a glass to the newlyweds."

Retirement party

"Good afternoon, everyone. As we all know, Linda is retiring after 22 years with the company. We've all had a day she saved, usually without anyone asking. I've never once seen her leave a co-worker stuck. So let's all give Linda a round of applause."

Holiday dinner

"Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. As we all know, it isn't every year we get the whole family around one table. We've all had our share of good and hard this year. I've been looking forward to this dinner for months. So let's all bow our heads and give thanks."

Memorial or celebration of life

This is the hardest room to stand up in, and the template still holds. "Good afternoon, everyone. As we all know, we're here to remember Ray. We've all got a piece of him we'll carry, whether it's his laugh or his terrible puns. I've been lucky to call him a friend for more than 30 years, and I'm going to miss him. So let's all bow our heads for a moment of silence."

Same card. Different room.

How to practice

• Pick the next event on your calendar and draft your five lines ahead of time.
• Run them twice on the drive over.
• At events where nobody asks you to speak, build the five lines in your head anyway.

After a few rounds, you'll hear yourself say, "Sure, I can," before your stomach has time to drop.

Practice impromptu speaking at BrewMeisters

Every BrewMeisters Toastmasters meeting includes Table Topics, where members answer a surprise question on the spot for one to two minutes. It's the safest place we know to practice thinking on your feet. We meet the first and third Wednesday of each month at 7 p.m. at Brea United Methodist Church, 480 N. State College Blvd., in Brea, and on Zoom. Guests are always welcome. See upcoming meeting dates or warm up with our Table Topics generator.

Frequently asked questions

How long should an impromptu toast be?

Thirty to 60 seconds. The five-line template runs about 30 seconds, short enough to hold any room and long enough to sound prepared.

What should you avoid saying in a toast?

Skip inside jokes, embarrassing stories and more than one line about yourself. At weddings, leave out past relationships. At retirements, leave out work complaints.

How do you calm your nerves before speaking?

Know your first and last lines before you stand up. When the shape is set, the middle takes care of itself. A slow greeting also gives you a few seconds to breathe.

Where can I practice public speaking in North Orange County?

BrewMeisters Toastmasters in Brea meets twice a month, in person and on Zoom. Members practice prepared speeches and impromptu Table Topics in a supportive setting. Visit our membership page to learn more.